Hi Hi Y’all,
Everyone deals with misconceptions. Most of the time, I’d like to think these misconceptions don’t bother me very much. Of course, there are certainly times they do. I bring this up because recently I have been thinking of a certain concept: emotion versus logic.
I hate to admit it but my mother and I are dissimilar in the ways that would be helpful to be similar and similar in the ways that we should be dissimilar. In a better to understand translations we have that same character flaws and bad habits. While, completely lacking a strong sense of similar point of views and enjoyments.
One of the most striking examples of these two points of interest is our emotional instability. We both have absurdly high emotional understanding- of others and of ourselves. While, we both also have the burdens of the emotional fallout and the mental health fallout of such a ‘blessing’. However, it has always been our approach to this madness that has left us at such striking odds.
My mother has always been the sort to see a blessing and its negative side effects and choose to push away and recognition of the bad. She wants to place the emotional madness and all of its contexts on a pedestal. Her aim is to carry the burden flawlessly to the point that it is a moral imperative to achieve so. Emotion is the backbone of humanity and so one must master the course of emotions.
When you’re a child and you see how utterly useless that is and how bad the side effects of such a course you have only two responses: try to do it better or try a different course. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with this same biological condition. I couldn’t erase having the bleeding heart, but I couldn’t do what my mom did and see a blessing as a marvelous thing. After all, a curse was just a realistic blessing.
So, what was I to do?
I found my answer, as many do, in fantasy. Cartoons and fictional characters have an ability to resonate with a person and help find recourse. I remember the first time I saw Star Trek with my grandfather. I insistently was taken in by Spock’s approach. I saw sitting between the emotional humanity and the logical Vulcan as a prime example of my infliction. I enjoyed watching Spock act as an adviser while mediating his own challenges. I was given my own course of handling the burdens of a ‘blessing’.
Logic did indeed offer a serenity humans seldom experience. The control of feelings so they do not control you.
Let’s be real for a moment: Humans are definitely not Vulcan. I am certainly not some supreme logical philosopher of perfection. Emotions probably still reign supreme in my personal life. However, I still aspire to use logic to understand the emotions I am feeling, why they are so intense and how to mitigate a course of action. Logic is a study of the emotions I have.
My mother has never understood this difference of course. It has always become a problem in our relationship. I guess, it is fair to say that at times I come off as cold, judgmental, distant and apathetic. Childhood trauma, mental health issues and inherent introversion probably do cause me to be that way sometimes. It’s certainly a problem I need to continue to work on.
However, I do not reject emotion and not feel it. I distance myself and seek to understand it with logic because I know it consumes me. It’s too strong and powerful. It is a force that shuts me down as easily as it inspires me. It’s like living in the middle of the ocean and not knowing how to swim. I just want to be prudent and find a solution. Trying to see or process a situation logically is my way of learning how to swim.
It is misconceptions like this that bother me the most. A nerd is obsessed with a cartoon because they have no life. A child is heartless because they do not feel emotion. I hate these misconceptions. I hate them as much as most species hate Romulans. Oddly enough, I quite like Romulans.
Anyways, I find emotion hard to deal with. I don’t want to be consumed by it or held down by it. There must be a way to have some sort of mastery over the control of it so I can live my life how I wish to live it. There has to be some sort of balance? Spock certainly, with all of his problems, seems to do an okay job at living his life. I want to as well.
I wish my mom and others that I care about could understand this. That it isn’t all or nothing. That all I want to do is find a way to have one side inform the other. That both sides sometimes need to take a break and enjoy the other.
Another example of contention: Hogwart’s houses.
Minus my grandmother, who is a clear cut Slytherin, my entire household is by nature’s standard Ravenclaw. However, by conditions, environments and handling of problems we split. My Aunt turns to Gryffindor, as she wishes for recognition and glory of her personal bravery of choices- a more honest approach. My mother chooses to reject many things in order to be as kind, honest and troubled as possible- she would ask for Hufflepuff. While, I would admit I am not calm enough to be a Ravenclaw. By nurture I am aspiring and most comfortable in Slytherin.
Slytherin and Hufflepuff in a surface level are in direct opposition of each other. Both sides view the other with a sneer and dissatisfaction of morality and principles. The base of Ravenclaw no longer comes into view or matters. How to process the nature has lead to two sides of opposition.
Emotion vs. Logic
Manic – Coleman Hell
This Is Gospel – Panic! At The Disco