What a week…

I know I am suppose to be better at posting and trust me it is still one of my goals. But this was just too hectic of a week for me to sit down and write something. Now that the week is over I’m all down for writing. I’ll start with a quick explanation of my week. Basically, I had an essay due Tuesday and a midterm on Thursday. I will not make excuses I was very much out of it this past week and this current week. So my essay happened to be written at 6 am the day it was due and i barely studied at all for my midterm. By the time Friday rolled around I was dependent on the news of my friend coming to town to fix my soul. This is the hectic part: my weekend. Friday was spent partying all night with my friend. Saturday I tried to catch up on work, but really just spent time eating Oreos and peanut butter with my friend. That night I had to pull a Second all nighter for sorority. Sleep finally happening at eleven am Sunday. After five hours I had to wake myself up to suffer so I could fall asleep again later that day and hopefully sleep through the night. The kicker of the week happened Sunday for me. I had been thinking about for awhile taking a semester off to take an Internship in North Carolina. I thought it would be good for me to return home and be in the environment I love. I don’t think it’s a secret I am currently lost and panicking way too much these days. Well, telling my grandma and my mom what I was considered turned into a huge headache. Although, also telling them I wanted to die my hair purple and that I messaged the father I’ve never met for names for a school genealogy assignment didn’t help the situation either. My grandma was most upset about the hair. My mother was upset about the Facebook message I sent. I guess the response of, “too little too late, sorry I am not here to be used and abused like this so…sorry but can’t help you take care of yourself and best wishes.” didn’t go down with a mom who already felted enraged by a fathers complete lack of caring for there sire. Trying to calm her down was more stressful then the actual message. I have many issues and weirdness, but having father issues over this man is not one of them. It may sound cold but I gave two shits about the man or ever pursuing a relationship. I just wanted an A on my assignment. I figured if he denied, I could show the message to my prof and be like “Welp. I tried.” But my mother, she freaked out. Laced into me about looking for answers and how he only signed my Canadian papers because his mother embarrassed him. I think there was also something about letting him stab my heart. I can assure you there was no such stabbing. This week really did end on weird note though. Not only am I exhausted and tired, but now I’m having to somehow formulate plans for all the weird thoughts and things around me. I really, really hate plans. If I could be anything, I suppose I would be some combination of way-word wanderer, drifter, lonely biker and isolated academic librarian. I think that role would suit me. 

Just a thought,
I.L. Knight

tumblr_lrf3hw5fZ91qiwapgo1_500

I’m so tired- The Beatles

Wake Me Up When September Ends- Green Day

Tired Eyes- Neil Young

 

P.s. I am posting parts of the raps that occurred in my head on my drunk Friday escapade. 
 
RAP BATTLE: I.L. vs. Roommate (Rap of his written by me)
 
Yo Mr. Shin
Your the man made of tin.
Looking for a new heart
Just made up of old parts.
 
Yo Ms. Grace
Dependent on the Kawaii face.
Time to step up your game
Don’t just be the queen of the lame.
 
The next is just the last half of a long rap I did when I was out. I don’t have the whole thing :
 
I’m the mother fucking queen of my castle
a curtain with 92 fucking tassels
I’m epic
Making dough through the crowd of hectics
Don’t step up to me
Unless you’re ready to pay the toll fee
Because I got nothing to hide
Life’s just a joy ride
I have nothing to fear
There’s nothing to make me shed a tear.
 

-Sorry for the sailor mouth <3

Leave a Reply