Adios Mofo

For a long time, as in like a week ago, I considered wether or not I wanted to write a post about this. Ironically enough I didn’t want to be whiny and yes, I am aware of the fact I often sound whiny in my blog posts. To be fair about that though, writing is how I deal with my feelings so I can’t help it if sometimes it becomes an angsty, sob fest. Thats the mindset of a twenty year old… Still, by bringing this up I am concerned about sounding even more whiny then normal and so I will try my best to word this as logically as possible. Furthermore, I am not someone who enjoys involving others in my confrontations. On this note I hope to make it as non-specific as possible.
A couple of days ago, I was having a conversation on Facebook about an upcoming anime con. A joke was made sometime during the conversation that led to a sudden blowup. If this was gonna be the general trend between me and this former close friend of mine- we had grown apart due to different friend groups post high school graduation- then I didn’t want to put myself in the same hotel room with her for a four day vacation. This wasn’t something I wanted to turn into a big deal though. Even though we weren’t close friends anymore I did generally enjoy having her around; especially, enjoyed a peaceful con atmosphere. 
I decided the best choice was to message her privately asking what I said that annoyed her. After two days and no response, I got annoyed. I decided to message her again this time slightly more pointed. Her response was very sarcastic and rude. Asserting that we had some tiny disagreement and that I was stuck on this. I didn’t know how to respond. That blatant jab at past issues in her thinly veiled attempt at being civil was beyond what I expected. This was not the response I was expecting. At twenty years old and a two year relationship of us being civil, the response should of been more polite at the least. Clearly, somewhere in the not talking being civil was no longer the foreign relations agreement. If that was the case all I could do was the end the conversation there.
What upsets me most about this exchange I guess is the sense of nostalgia ad melancholy it brings up. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a traumatic, or that sad event. Never the less, it is an event that makes you spend a few brief moments recalling what was, what transitioned and what was the result. Just a few brief moments is all it takes for you to go over the crumbling of what you thought was a good friendship. That’s what hurts. A friendship being boiled down to a few brief moments in your head is like the end result of caring gone wrong. 
At the end of the day it’s like watching a short that shows you the story of a friendship between a naive girl and a girl who used someone. Once the girl became more useful as a subject to bring up in a negative light, that’s the path the friendship went. It’s sad that everything ended up like that and it makes me angry. I am so angry that I was naive enough during all of it. I let myself be used and I never confronted the situation. The one time I did, it’s too late to mean anything. Don’t be like me guys. Regret is never good. Stand up to people. It’s always better then the alternative. Real friends will stay by your side.

I.L. Knight


Stand Up- All That Remains


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