I have to admit to a crime I sort of committed: perjury. Awhile ago, I told both my mom and my boss I couldn’t go be a nanny today, because I had to go see the doctor. While, it was true I did not feel well it was more because I just needed a day off to chill with a friend for my soul then an actual need to go see a doctor. I mean, the pain is always from lack of sleep and having an auto-immune disease. Not anything special.
Still, I am proud of myself for putting in just that little effort to make yourself feel better. A snazzy long necklace, decent hair and nicer shoes all to distract from the fact your body is creakier then the tin man. On the the other hand, I am sort of disappointed with myself. I have, seriously, not been productive at all this week. Behind on paying rent, behind on paying my credit card bill and behind on just being productive in life. I wouldn’t be surprised if my school emailed me and was like, ‘oh yeah, —- . It’s nice you want to return to school, buuuuuuuuuut no.”
I am telling you guys. I can’t help, but feel like a mess. With my relationship with my mom getting worse and health care dependent on medical marijuanna….
I just don’t know what I am doing with my life, other then trying to get over my distaste for everything my family brings me.
Can I even pick up the pieces anymore,