2 – Absurdities

It wasn’t hard to find the food. It seems King of Evil Shadows left quite a bit of food here for me. Although, with how much Horus ate I didn’t know if it was going to last long. Turning away from him I found a pile of items.

What is this?

The first thing I grabbed was a tiny bag.

(Large) Isolated Space Bag.

I see.

The bag was an item for storage. I looked at the other items. First, there was a white and silver stitched robe that looked like a priestess’ garb from a game my brother once played.

Holy Dragon Robe

Eh? Why is it another holy item!

Seriously, if I was blessed by the Lord of Night and Other Dark Things why was everything white and shiny! The robe had a high magic and physical damage resistance. It resisted temperature as well. Since, it was a holy dragon it probably was uneven on these too due to hero biases. The feeling of dying not by magic, but a simple thrust of a spear overwhelming me for a moment.

Sleipnir’s Shoes

The function of the boots appearing in  my head as I turned to look at them. An increase of speed wasn’t too cheat like, but why did they also allow a bit of flying…

Summoners Contract Ring

Orb of Analysis

Trickster’s Drops Earrings

Librarian Knows Best Glasses

Blood Ring

Mithril Dagger

I will never be able to fit in with all of these items!

The Summoner’s Contract Ring allowed me to make contracts with creatures and summon them to aid me from wherever they were. The Trickster’s Drops Earrings was a light magic item that created minor illusions. The Librarian Knows Best Glasses was a fetish item from the Analysis Sorcerer that gave a detailed game like breakdown of anything I looked at. While, the Blood Ring allowed me to use mana to use blood as it was water magic. There was no need to even go into how stupidly expensive the mithril dagger was. The only sane thing this Demon Shadow Asshat gave me was the Orb of Analysis and that was a one-time disposable item to just check my magic. I moved to sit down in a chair sighing. Horus walked over to rub his head on my leg. Patting his head, I sighed again.

Horus, these will make our lives really troublesome.

Horus tilted his head at me confused. It was not a surprising. He was a baby just born today. It’s not like I can’t refuse these items. For one, holding on to them, making sure they weren’t stolen and passing them on to someone who was worthy was part of the deal. I pinched my cheeks.

Okay, we’ll just work super hard to find the next successor and pass it all off to them.

Horus nodded his head eagerly even if he didn’t understand. He was cute. I held up the Orb of Analysis. Let’s see if this idiotic Nightmare Guy was playing more pranks on me.


My magic aptitude was indeed darkness magic even though dressed in all of this gear I was given I looked like a priestess whose job was to pose for the knights and be captured by a demon lord.

Let’s get out of here Horus.

Before the Night Shadow dumps more items on me.

This body I was given was really convenient. The two of us had been walking for over two hours and I didn’t feel it at all. Even the fact that I had huge weights attached to my chest now didn’t effect my stamina.

How are you Horus?

The baby dragon looked at me happy. Horus didn’t seem to care much. Maybe we weren’t running into anything because of him? A baby dragon might still as an idea frighten away beasts? My theory proved wrong when a giant Mantis pooped out in front of us. Horus seemed the most surprised from not being able to sense it. The two of us kicking off the ground and out of the way. I looked at Horus and smiled nervously.

Let’s do this.

He shook his head all serious. Horus seemed much more determined then I was. A dark aura was seeping out from him. Wait…


I couldn’t help but shout as I moved out of the way of giant slashing scythes of death. Horus seemed to be jumping in and out clawing at the creature. Each hit seemed to tear off more damage then it should have. It seemed as if Horus was able to do some sort of larger wound creation with his attacks. Dodging again, I continued to watch my fake holy dragon. Horus was putting up a pretty great fight against the Mantis, but if it continued Horus would lose just from lack of experience.

I really don’t want to fight, but….

I ran forward and twirled by halberd. Using the war axe on one side I cut the Mantis in half through his midsection. Horus looking at me annoyed. As if I should of done that sooner.

You needed to try fight.

He seemed to accept the excuse as I looked away guilty. Horus walking up to me with a stone in his mouth. It was a mana stone. Wasn’t this what Horus could eat?

Go on. You can have it.

Happily, the silly dragon swallowed the stone.

Horus learned [ Poison Slash Lv.1 ]

Poison Slash!

The fake holy dragon was prancing happily while I alone was sighing. This was getting more and more absurd. Sighing, I turned to Horus.

Let’s try it out?

It may not be as bad as I was thinking. Horus nodding his head and slashing a tree. I walked over to examine it, taking out the glasses.

Oak Tree Bark

Dragon Scratch Mark (Light)

Poison Damage By Edge Of Scratch – no lasting effect on oak tree. Will inhibit growth for 3 days. Color Changes may occur on surrounding bark.

I took of the glasses and turned to Horus. He seemed a little down. Walking back over to cheer up the dragon I pat his head.

Don’t worry Horus. Level ups make attacks stronger and you can level up just by eating more stones or training.

Horus nodded. He still seemed a bit sad. An idea appearing in my head.

Hey, Horus. Is it safe for us to fly together when you are this young?

He was pretty large, but he was not a full-sized dragon. Horus nodded his head. He seemed happy again, so I slowly got on his back and wrapped my arms around his neck-leaning away from his horns. Horus started coughing because I was squeezing too hard. I quickly let go.

Sorry. Flying is just a little scary.

With a smug face on his look. Horus gave us a running start. At first it was hell. I felt like I would throw up, lose my balance and fall to my death. However, right after all that the magic happened. We were just beneath the cloud; the sun was beginning to set and it was reflecting beautifully over this lake in a part of the forest we were in.


Horus seemed to chirp in agreement.

Let’s camp there tonight?

Horus slowly flew downwards. I needed to get used to flying so I could see more beautiful sights.

G’night Horus.

I could hear the humming in his throat as we curled together to go to sleep.


All Kinds Of Kinds – Miranda Lambert


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