Why Things Have Been Like They Are :

Hi Hi y’all!

You know sometimes I feel like the Queen of Excuses. It’s not that I mean to be really. I am very aware I have a natural born trait to resist ownership and responsibility and thus it needs to be managed… I guess, the thing is I always feel like I owe an explanation. That is probably due to a whole crapload of childhood trauma and shitty insecurities but that’s not really important here. What’s important is not only do I cripple myself but I cripple the relationships I have with others by being shitty with follow throughs and commitments.

I think, for awhile, this will hopefully be my last explanation:

More and more I have been taking both more frequent and longer absences. Part of it is due to health. I can’t say anything more than learning to live a life with a chronic illness seems to be a forever challenge. The ups are high and the downs are low. Dealing with being in my 20s and being bipolar along with it just seems to be this almost immeasurable task.

However, there are two bigger stressors in my life than even my health problems: school and family.

When I graduated high school university was this magical thing I was heading too. It was a place where I’d have everything I ever wanted and be an ambitious bad ass semi adult. I mean reality does kick in, challenges do present themselves and you do eventually become an adult. Going to the challenging school wasn’t what I thought it to be. Looking back, as thankful as I am for the lessons it’s taught me, I don’t think McGill was the university for me. It doesn’t flex to those who need flexibility. How smart I thought I was doesn’t matter in the end if I can’t handle the lifestyle of a proper student. I’ve always had a major thing about failure and learning to live that failure is okay in a high paced environment with many geniuses KILLS a soul. Everything school related becomes so much more emotionally and time wise to me.

Honestly, just sitting here waiting for my grades and taking my first test of the summer session has me dying in agony…

The second reason is of course family. I mean… guys. We all know I have family problems. However, lately I can’t help growing more and more annoyed. I am incessantly put in a position where, even when they say no, I have to end up as the family manager from another country. Things had gotten so bad my grandparents were preceding with divorce options (instead of just shouting about it) and still they do nothing. AND YOU KNOW WHY WE GOT THERE!

We got to that because my Aunt who lives with them bought a new house and didn’t want to move out her old furniture…. The same furniture that is representative of a ten year hoarding habit that has infuriated my grandma to no ends. The only funny side note is that she’s moving from there house to a house two miles up the road and three doors down from my mom’s house.

People in my family, I swear, do not actually separate from the uterus.

That drama cost me 4-5 days of major anxiety, panic attacks and being the only one who calms down my grandma.

Family is too difficult sometimes.

Anyways, today is part 2 of my first summer session exam. I have recommitted to yoga and started to seriously meditate again.

Hopefully, I can remain calm enough to get shit done for y’all~

I.L. Knight

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Family Portrait – P!nk

Life Updates & Story Ideas:

Hi hi y’all,

I was sitting at my computer and was dying in the agony of having nothing to watch when the odd suggestion of Blood Ties came across my screening. I’m not going to lie, after binging the two seasons I have many comments. Is this a 90s show? It feels SUPER 90s. Why is the tension between Henry and Vicki written so awkwardly but still makes me rage about them not having SEX yet! Henry was objectively (even with awkward lines and plots) very yummy. Also why is your relationship with Mike so awkward? Will his new female partner learn the truth and handle it without trying to kill Henry like he did? Or Vicki? Why does Coreen have such awful taste and horrible luck with men? Again, I’d take a Henry.

But, it is more important to push these aside for a moment and remember that when it comes to me and dead/dying shows I immediately wonder about remakes. If I was to resurrect Blood Ties then what should be done?

Here is my rough remake version for 2019 peeps:

(1) Change Vicki to be a uni student that has a dead family member who was a cop. Have her going blind become a more prominent point in the series since TV has started to FINALLY get a bit better about showcasing that.

(2) Make Mike be an older childhood friend who is already a well known or great young cop.

(3) Coreen should be younger and less super goth looking. This isn’t 90s cliche moments.

(4) Keeping Henry as he was is fine just give him better lines.

(5) Just in general be better about plot. The monsters and flow got a bit… WEIRD towards the end.

BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS SINCE I JUST REMEMBERED IT’S BASED OFF A BOOK. Oh well~

Moving on, I also recently saw Shazam. It was good. The flaws were covered up by the fact that having a good DC movie in awhile was a shock, having an actor who played a child well instead of being weird, a well assembled support cast and the hint of the SHAZAM FAMILY AT THE END!

That also got me thinking… I need to be better about my writings (time was, commitment wise and aspiration wise).

One day I don’t want to just see my books on shelves, but TV shows I’ve made or movies I’ve helped write. I want to stand as a creator that excels in their craft.

Soooooo….Basically….I guess I’m saying… I’m back?

I.L. Knight

P.s. buy my web novel (https://www.amazon.com/Tale-Shadow-Light-Chronicles-ebook/dp/B07L5F6DXZ) please?

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DARKNESS – Ultimate Epic Music

 

 

*** Cover done by SD09 ***

Another E :

Hi Hi Y’all!

So, Part of me in the back of my head is being all like BOOO,YOU SUCK. YOU’RE BEHIND! YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER. WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT! MY GOSH. HAVE YOU EVEN LOOKED IN THE MIRROR!

But… none of that matters today, because I’ve got multiple concept art sketches ( oops spoiler~) and…

HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST…MUHAMMAD…EVERYONE! THEY LOOK SO FUCKING FANTASTIC! CAN’T HELP BUT BALL MY EYES OUT AND GO FULL ON SNOT MODE!

NOT ONLY AM I FINALLY CONCURRING MY FEARS AND HAVE A BOOK OUT ANUARY 1 (which you can pre-order now on Amazon by the way~) BUUUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS STARTING TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL AND UNIQUELY MINE!

This website is a huge part of my life. It not only brought me back from the edge of some very dark places, but continues to help me have hope and joy for what I will do in the future.

Guys, I feel so happy. I  feel so genuinely fucking happy.

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.Shit.Cock.Mother Fucking. Aggggggh.

I am growing you guys….

I think I’m  becoming me.

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Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley

Here Comes The Goodies :

Hi Hi Y’all. It’s I.L. Knight. Here with a teaser of what’s to come. As promised~

In the lands of Etrium, the destinies of the children of lore have started to awaken. Tragedies and pain burn away the past mistakes and the dawn of a new age of saviors have appeared. The time of change is now…

Chronicles: A Tale of Shadow And Light is coming to Amazon soon. I just need to find a book cover I like. But to tide you over in the mean time…. I HAVE NEW FAN FICTION UPDATES. LOTS OF NEW!!!!!!!!!

First Up:

AHS Chp. 6

That’s right. The epic joint rp work with the fantastic Outremusings is growing more and more. Y’all go support my girl, because she is an amazing talented individual who deserves all the love~

Next Up:

HP1

As promised I have finally updated the first part of the first Harry Potter RP. That’s 34 new chapters! 34 tellings of wizarding world adventures for your enjoyment!!!!

Be sure to keep stopping in this week for all the juicy updates!!!! So much is coming your way~~~

I’m so excited,

I.L. Knight

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Welcome To The Jungle – Guns N’ Roses