Some people do well with a routine and some people are the sorts that need to live by a routine to function. I probably lean towards the latter. I mean having a routine definitely takes the stress off of life. And with my recent memory fog issues it is the Biggest Saving Grace to getting through life.
This sort of thing definitely extends to somewhat minor and cheesy parts of your life… Like perpetuating your favorite color into everything, having a favorite shape that must be expressed and of course having a set ranking system for random things in life…Like Holidays.
For me, the number one best holiday would have to be Saint Patrick’s Day. No, it is not because I’m Irish. Technically, I’ve got a little bit of Scottish in me, but even that isn’t the reason why. It’s the best, because it’s all about having fun with drinking, parades, food and pranks. It’s the result of the world’s best recipes.
However, a close second to this is Halloween. I mean, it is IMPOSSIBLE to resist the whole their is a historical/ritualistic reason to dress up and be naughty all night recipe. It is a complete day of absolute importance.
Yet, why is it on this hallowed day I have to look at a fact about myself that I hate the most: being used. When I graduated high school I swore to myself that with my new found knowledge on life I would stop giving so much for people that I would get nothing in return for it.
It isn’t turning out well at all. Over the last three years all I’ve done is find out more past examples, rush through the burning of bridges and recently be the employee everyone can use.
I cover everyone’s shift. EVERYONE’S. ALL THE TIME. Yet, not once have they covered mine. So when I put in a three weeks notice that I need Halloween off to trick or treat with my baby cousin and her friends OFC no one could happen to be free. Yes, I expected no one would want to willingly give up their Halloween night (come on people, it is a Tuesday, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOING TO DO), but to have some of my co-workers not even fake the social politeness of a fake reason to be unable to do it. It’s not like I can’t not show up for my shift if there’s no one to cover it.
So on a holiday I love for so many reasons that aren’t drinking until I can’t remember anything I have to man a front desk at a gym. Stand there and hand the few people who aren’t doing anything this night their tiny towels and their disgusting tasting protein bars. All in my Halloween costume which I practically demanded that I be allowed to wear. – I mean I did pay for it. –
I can’t help, but feel so used. Like everything I am working for is just some joke I tell myself. You exist to be used. Even on holidays that mean a lot to you and your family. You will always be the person who has to cover up for the people who don’t care about you.
A tragic Halloween filled night is awaiting…
This is Halloween – The Nightmare Before Christmas