June Writing Mini-Camp: Day 19

Hi Hi Y’all!

Since, this is my first writing camp I haven’t really had it planned well. BUT I AM FIXING IT NOW! Until, the end of June I will have a post a daily reminder of the monthly camp and a day challenge to keep yourself going!

Day 19:

Reach out to any of fellow writer’s you know and check in! Tell them about your WIP and what it inspires in you.

I.L. Knight

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The Golden Girls Theme Song

Time Management Problems :

Hi Hi Y’all,

I am sitting here in the laundry room, trying to multi-task, and decide how I should fix my recently worse than normal time management problems. I find the fact that an annoying building resident has decided to open and spread out three bags of laundry over the table I am sitting at a highly distracted and detractor in this mission of mine. Never the less, I shall work my hardest to execute a decent and productive plan for the rest of my summer and its expected achievements. Let us begin with the goals, shall we:

  1. Finish the updated Chronicles: A Tale of Shadow & Light
  2. Have the print version out sometime within June
  3. Publish the ebook version of my poetry book, Confessions of a Teenage Poet out within a month’s time.
  4. Begin a steady schedule of Podcast episodes
  5. Since once a day doesn’t seem to be happening, at least three blog posts a week with a hopeful set days for each
  6. Steady and predicably timed updates of Fan Fiction & an increase of Fan Portal chapters
  7. Major desired updates of all my sites
  8. The introduction of a proper beginning of my publication house, Knights Publications
  9. The completed draft of the web novel series, made with the brilliant outremusings, H x E Volume 1
  10. Lose at least 20 lbs
  11. Get a B- in my Japanese course and return in a semi-successful manner to a McGill student.
  12. If I have extra money, and possibly raised my credit score, I would love to finally get beginning level decent equipment so I can start streaming again.
  13. Finish copyrighting all of my works and tittles
  14. Becoming even more organized within my life and increasing my adorable DIY projects
  15. Save money for a trip either this upcoming winter break or next summer
  16. Hold my first meet & greet or book launch party in Montreal/ get in more book stores as a ‘local author’ ; possibly without the need to dress up and present myself as the stereotypical image of an ‘indie’ author.
  17. To work on my efforts towards friendships and going out. My penssion for social isolation does unsubjectively need to be corrected.
  18. To increase the time and attention I put towards taking care of my mind and body’s health.
  19. To challenge myself to not only dress up in nicer clothes but the clothes I always wanted to wear and was too scared to before.
  20. TO KICK ASS AND LOVE MYSELF.

So, we can break down a few of these I think. The first is a simple explanation of the draft site The Crows Nest Co (Co as the regular site was already taken by some bastard who was considerably inconsiderate of my personal affairs). My podcast is amply named the Crows Nest as to highlight my peculiar and quirky nature. As for themes and topics, season one is set to be a mixed bag of testing material. Not too complicated at the moment. The next break downs I believe would then be my fan fiction page and my fan portal page. I seriously need to keep up with the random requests for a steady schedule of star trek and harry potter based episodes. Further, I would like to increase my pretty much finished 8-9 Volumes of the Maou-sama no Machizukuri! ~Saikyou no Danjon wa Kindai Toshi~ . Next, I would like the catch up of my Marvel and DC related stories and images. They seem to catch quite some attention and I have both fear and hopes for their possible attention by the respected comic companies. Next, I think I have failed at properly showing the support and love towards Chinese web novels such as Against the Gods, Douluo Dalu, Tales of Demons and Gods and 1/2 Prince. Lastly, to focus on the updates of Hakai no Miko, Overlord, Re: Monster in my sites series updates (possible Shadow Hunters as well due to its rising popularity). While, my fan portal just needs an increase of my lovely tender fans not only commenting on my site and social media more but asking for such works.

The only thing I wish to break down is the works of @Outremusings. She is a frequent co-author on web novel series and fan fiction series such as: Star Trek, Hp 1, Hp 2, H x E and AHS. In addition, I have the honor of featuring on her new podcast series and promote her new website, undisclosedmusings.com.

As for these goals, if you have any questions, comments or concerns let me know. Because, trust me, I have a shit ton of them myself.

I.L. Knight

P.s. I also really need to figure out previous page and next page options don’t I?

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She Works Hard For The Money – Donna Summer

Last Major Fan Fiction Updates :

Hi Hi Y’all!

So, I am entering massive paper and finals flood for school and will have no time for like anything most likely. McGill can be a sucky school experience. In order to make it up to you guys I am releasing an ENTIRE VOLUME 1 of Fan Fiction for Maou-sama no machizukuri!~Saikyou no danjon wa kindai toshi! That’s 26 chapters and an epilogue completed!

I ALSO prepared OG artwork by DorkMasterXtreme of the main character for my Originals Fan Fiction. It is currently just a post of rough draft pieces written for a story, but will be one of the next Fan Fictions tackled and cleaned up after my finals.

Thank You Guys For Understanding!

I.L. Knight

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A Poison Tree – The Originals

Mass Fan Fiction Updates Continue :

Hi Hi Y’all

As promised, here is the next flood of updates for the fan fiction/ web novels on the site.

Harry Potter: Reformated + addition of three new character profiles -> Autumn & Mina , The Beauty & The Crow / The Story Of Dragons

Chapter 2 in the new Legend Series !

The Originals: Reformatted the messy draft to give you a proper Chapter 1

AND

Orginal artwork from the amazon @Eymbeeyo will be on that series page soon!

LASTLY

An idea for a web novel has been updated on the site: The Otherworld Crazed Witch Isn’t Crazed At All with its first Chapter!

I.L. Knight

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Wolves – Selena Gomez

 

Back Pain & Why Tattoos :

Hi Hi Y’all,

I know more and more I talk about chronic illness. It’s not meant to just be a purge, a kvetch or a notice for recognition. Lately, my flare up have just been getting worse and longer. All the advice doctors gave and the awkward hard to explain moments just seem worse. More then ever, I am just tired. So very tired…

A friend of mine is coming up to visit me in April and I am so excited to have someone see where I go to University and be an understanding friend. I had been debating when ( and more importantly) where to get a back tattoo I have always wanted.

When I was a kid I was obsessed with Yakuza movies, samurai movies and ronin movies. I loved the traditional colorful tattoos on them and the values that seemed to come with them. As I got older, learned more about what it meant and how it was perceived I didn’t want such a large piece anymore. For awhile, I thought about abandoning the idea completely.

Then I got my diagnosis and I started to reconsider. What eventually solidified the desire to get the tattoo was this increasing problems. My drugs are increasing and surgeries that seemed far off seem sooner and sooner. More and more I feel like I am missing out and that I’ll miss out on things even more in the future. Weighed down by everything around me and having it all be unseen is taking a bigger toll on me. I can do less then I used to at the moment and no one really sees it or understands it. More and more I have to come to terms with being seen by the average person as a ‘disappointment’.

It’s these things that make me stop caring about some of the things I used to. If I feel like life is short and changing so much for me I have to at least do the things I enjoy? A giant back tattoo or some crazy visual representation of all my problems probably won’t do much for me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t stick to aesthetic and feel as if I did something to show it.

My back has two curves and a tiny hump on my neck. At the top of my spine there are signs of bones thinning and possibly going to fade away. As you got to the bottom of my spine fusing has started, my hips are out of place and my legs are now two different lengths. None of this can be seen or understood unless I give up and say I want to walk around like Quasimodo so people notice me. That is always going to be the reality of my back. Anything from now on won’t be seen.

I like small minuscule and thin lined tattoos. Normally, I don’t want color and just want simple black. I’ve known since I was small I would want tattoos that represented ideas that meant a lot to me in life. Knowing this it isn’t hard for me to know what sort of tattoo I’d get on my back.

At the top of my neck, I would want in thin black lines Vegvisir. Vegvisir is one of the most popular Nordic charms. It wishes for the person to never lose their way in storm and bad weather even if the path is unknown. I don’t think there is anything more symbolic of everything going on then that. However, there is one more reason. My great grandma’s mother was a Swedish Orphan. She had come to the U.K. and met a Spanish Jew. They married and moved to the U.S. Apparently, unlike her husband and the efforts she put into now being Jewish and raising Jewish kids she never gave up her belief system. She was very very very Christian. I’m talking crosses and bloody Jesus pictures everywhere sort of Christian. Yet, there was one thing that my great grandma remembered seeing even when she didn’t know the name of it until I told her: Vegvisir. In a legacy where only food and some old myths managed to be passed down, my great grandma could vaguely in her dying times remember seeing Vegvisir as a child. Now how could I argue with that? Jewish or not, my great grandma read me Nordic myths as I was growing up, joked how if it was true Odin was 100% cooler than Zeus, and how we were meant to be tough because it was just in our blood. I’m traveling rough waters right now and maybe that means it isn’t just about being Jewish, but remembering all beliefs that helped create me.

Underneath Vegvisir is the real highlight though. Running in small thin lines will be the I Ching and its 64 changes. For a person of my aesthetic and weirdness (and love for Asian culture) what is better then 64 line patterns each symbolizing a different part of early understanding and divination? Nothing. Seriously, nothing at all. My life is certainly one of change and phases, of fortunes and dis-fortunes, and of joy and sadness. These line patterns will follow the crooked path my spine takes all the way to my tailbone. Maybe it will seem funny to some, but to me it’s a little part of the truth. And when these inevitable surgeries come, the scars appear on my back and the fight through new types of pain begins, I have marks of it all. Little lines that exist as part of scars and as part of the journey.

Going through all of this has taught me that living behind a mask is no longer something I’ll really be good at again. My body demands of me the truth. It demands that I grow past the angry cynical jaded girl I was when I was young and try to find the joy of life. It tells me that it will not tolerate lies and will only tolerate truth.

Don’t I have to do it then?

I.L. Knight

P.S. Odin really is way better. Norse > Greek everyday <3

Vegvisir

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I Ching

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Pagan Folk Music – Vegvisir

A Change Of View On Drugs :

Hi Hi Y’all,

I wanted to take a moment to mention something a bit serious again. I have someone I know in University who just came out as going to a counseling session for drug use. Now, just because I go to a top notch university like McGill doesn’t mean the people who attend it are robots immune to the problems. I had known of this person as someone who was pretty straight laced A type student back in their first year of University. Thinking of this person as someone who was going to sessions about a drug problem was shocking to me. They always had it together. They said it started with taking ritalin to stay up and study for exams. From there it went to sleeping pills to then fall asleep and then to other drugs for fun or other things. I’m not going to talk about their story past this. It is their journey and story. However, I am going to talk about the issue as a whole, because my attitude towards it has changed a lot over the years.

I mention it all the time, but I am from a conservative family. Growing up, my family wasn’t big on medication. If you really felt like you needed something just take Tylenol would be enough to tide over the problem. This led me to have two different reactions to the idea of drugs as a child. The first was I thought that people who relied on them or took them were weak and sort of pathetic. The second was me wishing I could take them. Sometimes, as a kid I would try to exaggerate the problem I was having in hopes of care or recognition. I would be sent to school with fevers or colds without a second thought. Part of me felt like if they gave me medicine it would be the same as recognition of it. However, this part was buried down because people who used drugs were weak. I was not expected to be weak. I was the kid everyone pinned their hopes on and had to succeed.

I kept this up for many years. It was a problem I could push away and not have to deal with. Then in high school I started feeling on well more. More people I knew were starting to use drugs for either medicinal purposes or recreational ones. The line between drug use and an individual seemed to get grayer. The idea of a lot of family problems occurring because no one in my family wanted to be responsible and take the medication they should be on became clearer. Still, I pushed this problem away as much as I could.

However, once again in University I was forced to confront this. I had gotten sick. I had entered into a world of chronic pain. No matter how much pain I was in I would actually tell some of my doctors I refused to take certain medications. My own mother had started getting sick about a year before me and was now taking from my family’s point of view lots of medication. Specifically, she seemed reliant on pain medication. The idea of being like that scared me more then it conflicted with my views. What if I started taking pain medication, became reliant on it, dealt with horrible side effects and allowed myself to be weak. I couldn’t allow that, so for three years I avoided some medication I should of been on and only took stronger versions of anti-inflammatory. However, there comes a time where you have to admit that isn’t enough.

When that time came for me I was scared. My fear of failure and all my other problems seemed to load on top of it as if I now had to carry another boulder on my back. I can’t say I am 100% okay with it all yet. I can say that now I can make jokes about it and remind myself I am on medication I need.

However, the biggest change is when I hear about someone like this. I don’t look down on them like I used to. I guess, even if I still think they are weak, a part of me can understand how it came to be. I think I can empathize with them a bit and maybe one day I can grow past my fear of weakness.

McGill sucks,

I.L. Knight

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I Don’t Like The Drugs – Marilyn Manson

Sneak Peek: Poem From New Poetry Book – Coming Soon –

Hi Hi Y’all,

I just wanted to share one of my favorite new poems that will appear in my COMING OUT SOON poetry book, Confessions of a Teenage Poet. The book is a collection of things I’ve written in earlier school years and shows the feelings I kept hidden from a lot of people around me. I think this poem does a great job at showing the underlying feelings I had from moving to high school to university. Some of these feelings I think still are there, but buried under new fears and anxieties.

The Pink Hotel

It’s four a.m. and the crowd twitches,

Built up nerve born from youth

seeking to run free.

“Let us go for a walk.

We are paying for the view.”

A silent ride down.

I walk ahead,

Lost in thoughts,

Drowning in my twenty four hour soda.

I look ahead.

There are low scattered fountains,

Large  and tiled with Spanish flowers.

In the darkness, I see light.

So much light is reflected

In waves of eerie hues.

Another match is burnt away.

“Dammit it won’t light.”

What was it, ten matches?

All to light his first cigar.

I don’t know why he kept trying.

I continue to walk away

To a farther fountain,

Where grass is still gentle,

To collapse in dewy golf turf.

I look to see a snake, none.

The pink hotel is a tower,

Looming in the sky above me.

Endless, reaching heights

I could never reach even reach

Laying eager on my back.

Why is there no stars,

Just a black sky?

A lonely Mercury

out of reach of Venus,

light up the seemingly black oblivion.

One cares to find me,

Upset at the foolish antics of youth.

“Are you ok?”

I smile and admit his thought was right.

I had lied on a truth question.

He looked away

And soon the two others

Reappeared  with a slow burning

Rolled bark of success.

“Want to walk?”

I nodded and got up,

Running ahead of the

Shambling pack.

I was always ahead,

Never next to anyone.

Not much is seen,

But a lonely palm tree

Framing Venus’ Lone arms,

And a single fish darting

Between lighted Angel mirrors.

There is another fountain.

I jump to the highest peak

And look down at my youth.

I open my mouth to say,

“When you were Polonius is this how you felt?”

The guy holding the cigar laughs,

“Never my dear.”

I shake my head and point

at the cigar he holds far from him.

“To thine own self be true.”

They laugh and keep walking,

Remarks on wealth and status.

We were so young, so eager

To make an image of ourselves-

An image we didn’t really understand.

I walk back to the room,

Another silent ride in the elevator.

Quietly I slip inside.

I’m hungry for something new.

I’m lonely.

Why did I choose this pink hotel?

Here Ya Go,

I.L. Knight

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Adolescents – Incubus

The Sad Fate Of The Scum Lord :

I know it seems like talk about my family issues a lot, but if you know everything that’s not really the case. I talk about surface issues and some of the intense feelings that have built up. I think now I’m ready to shed some light on one of the intense non-talked about issues my family faces.

To sum up the background context, people died and money fights began. It became the battle of the super wealthy and the middle class. Mental Health issues and rotten personalities blew up the situation and it became years worth of drama and attacks. Family members chose sides and refused to acknowledge the other. This has gone on still to this day. It has accumulated all of the experiences together so it can form the dramatic climax of all the shitty buildup.

At the moment, the wealthy 1% has succeeded at clawing every last drop of $$$ he can from every situation. Even now, the scum lord seems to be fighting a will of a deceased person to take $$$ left to other people in the family for no other reason than stupid feelings of anger, envy and greed. It is a situation were I find myself no longer able to try and see its side of things and remember we are family. It is a situation where I remember what its actions had done to the family of the past. How its actions rippled into painful memories for me.

I am enraged. I want to be like a character in a movie and burn it all away. However, this is reality. My mother will return to earth and realize that she cannot have these spending habits on the salary of a preschool teacher. My grandparents who continuously face financial struggles must not only support the rest of the family more, but deal with the emotional burden of the scum lord’s claws. My aunt must deal with the fact the scum lord is no longer family and does not want her to have money for her young child. My cousin can only grow up without any happy memories of family due to its influence.

While, I can only see it as an insult to everything we grew up with. Yes, I have a shite ton of problems with my family. However, we were raised, they were raised, in tradition and culture. Family is never abandoned and forgotten. Family is the heart of a home. How dare the scum lord and its people trash such ideals for such pathetic reasons. Scum. Trash. Someone who need a fiction stories amount of karma retribution.

I also needed time to grow. I needed the financial help from my family to afford school and housing. Have you forgotten how many people fucked over by your greed?

It is no longer my family. It no longer will have moments to be understood. It has made my grandparents burden worse, my aunt sad, my cousin missing of a possibility and my chronically ill mother need to give more than her body can give.

I pray for karma to seek the retribution it deserves. I pray for my family and our resolve.

I.L. Knight

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Mr. Greed – John Fogerty

I’m Back (Ish) :

Hi HI Y’all,

I guess I’m starting to step back into what I was doing and aiming to do. My medications were out for over two week and that plus school/family stress turned into an ugly pool of suffering. I mean I basically had my phone off as much as possible and tried to sleep through it as much as possible. BUT, my new medication refill has arrived and the dim light has returned at the end of the tunnel. I am reminded that I have wonderful and caring people in my life. I am reminded that everyone, including me, has a potential and the ability to grow. I am reminded that I too am alive and moving slowly towards a goal. That being said I was wondering what to do or talk about since rejoining the living and breathing society… I decided on D&D.

If you follow anything of mine I am pretty sure you know I love the games- D&D in particular. I was wondering if one day in the future I would add some sort of page with related content on it or have a cool podcast of the sort with it. However, I can’t just start that and jump into it/. Instead, I’d like to just introduce some of the characters I’ve used lately (some of their images and who drew them will be on my Instagram if you wish to see).

Current Main: Glasha – 1/2 Orc Druid with a Pet Spider named Muk

Recent One Shot: Paisley – Gnome Sorcerer that takes a bit of everything and is chaotic evil(ish)

Soon To Be 2nd Campaign Of The Season: Tecumseh – Feral High Elf Ranger with a pet Panther named Pandaros

Hardest Play: Mercy a.k.a Sheriff – a Tiefling warlock with a pair of twin pistols and a bounty on her head

The Begrudgingly Non-Magic Character: Layla Alyndra Van Morgoon – an Aasimar descendant noble fighter

The One Time Only: Zale – the Aarkocra Bard that couldn’t fly because flight rules get annoying…and so was role playing a bard

The Genderbend: Aurwun Kinstalked – the fallen aasimar monk with a sketchy past and a loner disposition

As you can see, I prefer playing non-humans and things with magic. Mostly because HELLO, IN FANTASY WE CAN FINALLY HAVE THIS! Also, I love to play Chaotic Neutral and Lawful Good annoys the SHITE out of me.

However, you can play whatever you want in D&D. That’s part of the beauty of it. If you are a seasoned player or someone interested in learning you can always hit me up here or on Twitter about playing a game. Seriously, I pretty much will always have time for D&D. It heals the soul.

OH, also…I updated the RWBY Fan Fic page. I promise to actually return, fix up and add to some of the older Fan Fiction. It isn’t fair for me to keep all of it trapped in my own head.

I.L. Knight

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Dnd Beyond Official Theme