I know it seems like I share a lot. I know I do. However, it’s naive to think a person shares everything. We always hold things back. We all have things so tightly locked to our idea of ourselves even we who make a living as one who shares does not part with it.
I guess I need to share a bit of my soul today. It’s about time to start doing that again…
This morning, I woke up delighted to remember that the first thing I had to do this morning was an AHS RP reply to my friend. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt so delighted. The problem is..everything lately has just felt like I am going through the steps I’m supposed to be taking and seeming happy when I’m not. I’m not sad… I think I am just back to being detached. It feels like I’m not a part of everything around me again. Even though I know that it looks like I am?
It’s like… It’s like the blossoming anxiety I push away everyday has secretly been crippling me even though for every reason in the world it shouldn’t be. I just can’t be happy. I’m just not able to be there.
I’m really thankful for my friends. The ones I RP with. The ones I chat online with and especially, the ones that carry a part of me with them in their daily lives.
Also, thanks for the random mystery of a CROW APPEARING IN THE MIST OF MY MIRROR (Seriously, check out my twitter. it is a spooky calling card)! I am taking the message, okay, life. I am going to be happy. I am going to succeed.
Just an incredibly emotional moment,
I’m really tempted to post on this site the Harry Potter Rps I have with a fellow writer that’s appeared on my site. The problem is, no matter how good they are, there is so much problems with posting and dealing with harry potter stuff that is a struggle bus I’m not 100% like want to have…. But still, this Slytherin love of mine.
When it comes to the nerd kingdom there is no better leisure activity then that of role play. It is the quiet sphere of rest and simultaneously the sphere of passionate fancy for many of us. However; it isn’t always just this place of pretending to cross swords with monsters, sleeping with girls from a period you could never visit in reality, or flexing the creativity muscles in our brains. Sometimes, it becomes a place that makes us feel bad within our own social order.
It is no secret that being labeled a nerd is the same as being labeled in the “you’ll grow into your self” category, the “successful in the future” category and even the “she’ll learn social graces soon” category. This fact is what drives many of us to activities like role play. It is a community where someone who loves super hero stories a little too much can immerse themselves in the world of their dreams with people who share a similar interest as them. Yet, this somewhat holy community draws one fatal result from its social community. We begin to judge one another.
There is no bigger pet peeve of mine then when you create a role play profile and comments like, “This isn’t original”, “You shouldn’t use named characters”, “That’s a stupid power”, or “Your appearance isn’t creative enough” pops up. Role play isn’t about being a super original person you annoying hipsters. It’s about creating an identity that fits into the world you want. Sometimes, it’s a very classic profile that can easily and seamlessly be slipped into the story you’ve come to love. The point of role playing is finding a common ground with people who share similar interests. Not inflate your ego on writing skills or how much you can alter a story. If that was the goal, then we’d all be falling into a hell of our own Pride.
I just can’t stand in when you remark on someones profile like that. Every story has already been done in some way and you aren’t Jesus; your story is no more original then some one else, so just let them have fun. This community is about being together and being silly. Not tearing someone apart in the one place they should feel accepted.
Shame on you prideful hipsters. Please fix your ego somewhere else.
Through Fire and Flames- Dragonforce