Cold & Updates :

Hi Hi Y’all…

*cough cough*

Yea, I have been sick lately. The worst cold EVER. My voice has been up and down and my ability to function seems to fluctuate. BUT, I have pushed through to use all my energy to finish some content.

So, here we go with the updated Fan Fiction:

American Horror Story

Harry Potter

Star Trek

Maou-sama no Machizukuri! ~Saikyou no Danjon wa Kindai Toshi~

NEWLY ADDED:

1/2 Prince

That’s all for now. I promise to try and return to the outside world as soon as possible.

Oh, actually, also I made a practice bullet journal. People seem to really say it helps with organization so let’s make a practice one to see if it helps…

I.L. Knight

P.S, does anyone know how to add previous/next page options on here?

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Sing Me A Love Song – 1/2 Prince

Blog UPDATE(S) MAJOR

Hi Hi Y’all!

I know it seems as if I have done an almost complete black out the last two days with social media and contact with the outside world. I promise I wasn’t for once. I got scheduled to work every day this week (except one day) from 5pm to 12am. I also started school and set up my OSD stuff and health regimen. Essentially, I was busy and tired as hell.

BUT…. BUT BUT… I wasn’t abandoning you guys. OH NO. I have pushed through to pump out major Fan Fiction updates. I mean MAJOR.

AHS is now up to 24 chapters!

Star Trek is up to 46!

HP is about to 41!

AND THIS WEEKEND THERE WILL BE MASSIVE WEB NOVEL/MORE FAN FICTION UPDATES.

Also, if I have time I plan to FINALLY fix my patreon. I plan to add scheduled early release access, in depth looks at the draft process and possibly videos or google hangouts.

Lastly, I will be releasing new illustrations for as many as my works as possible!

OH SHIT WAIT. TIME TO PLUG~

Down below is the link for my debut web novel (novella) A Tale Of Shadow & Light. It is book one of a Dark (what I refer as actually realistic) high fantasy called Chronicles.

Please check it out!

I.L. Knight

A Tale Of Shadow & Light

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Volume 1 H x E 

Cover

Out in early February

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High Hopes – Panic! At The Disco

Patreon & More :

I’ve spent hours on the computer today. I wouldn’t be surprised if my eyes started bleeding from how much computer work I did… Most of it is on the back end BUT

Lordy, there has been so many updates on my Patreon….that isn’t even about if you love anymore. For one dollar you can literally see so much. So. go. please. see. it’s a dollar.

AND… Know somewhere in the back of your mind that COMING SOON =

The Crows Nest Co

&

Knights Publications

The Crows Nest Co is a site that will hold quite a few podcasts on it and the FUTURE MERCHANDISE OF SO MANY THINGS YOU WILL WANT TO BUY!

While Knights Publications is going to be the stop you will want to make if you intend to self publish!

I.L. Knight

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Money, Money, Money – Mamma Mia

Sometimes I Think :

Sometimes I think life is a balancing act. But not the neat kind you see in movies, tvs or what you can imagine. It’s the messy, frustrating and lack of ever just having a moment of balance kind. Maybe I should say instead that life is like a tightrope, just no net or pretty other side.

Sometimes I think about everything that makes up my life… and by sometimes I mean all the time. There’s my family. These insane people that I fight going back and forth from hate to love. This crazy thing in my life that has me permanently walking this line of doom. I mean they’ve fucked me up, so bad. Trying to have conversations about it has proven to be impossible. They just don’t get it or can’t have it. I still haven’t figured out which one it is. All I know is how bad they’ve fucked me up and how much I still love them. It feels like I’m always going to love cutting myself. Everyone around you knows it’s bad and you should stop it…but the pain…the pain is just something else outside of it all. That’s my family in my life. My grandma who needs medication and therapy, but loves way too hard. My grandfather who can’t handle anything emotional, so just pushes it away for logical judgement and brief moments of sadness and rage. My Aunt who tries so hard I wonder why she does and also half the time thinks I’m a psychopath. My baby cousin who already at seven reminds me of the mean girls in high school that had made me hate my life. My mother… my mother who breaks me down still at this age and sums it all up as I’m the broken monster in her life.

Then there’s my friends. That’s a whole ‘nother mess of complications. I’m either choosing to stay close to people who I know will respect my boundaries and stay in okay distances or I’m too emotionally attached to the idea of the friendship to do anything I should do in it. I just… I don’t know how to have healthy connections with people. I never grew up with it, and the more I try this later in life learning crap the more I think wtf I’m forever bad it. It’s like there will always be some wall or disconnect I have with people and I don’t understand why. why can’t I do that final plug in with the world.  And even on a smaller scale I have issues on making decisions when it comes to people. Just right now I’m struggling with what to say to a friend. I’ve wanted her to visit so long and she finally has…but with her bf? Fuck, I don’t even know if I have the right to be upset about it. But I am. And that could be part bf or part my other mental crap.

And there’s a lot of mental crap. I mean forget getting fucked up by all them bitches growing up. Forget child abuse, rape, molestation, bullying, isolation…. you can throw that all aside.  There’s still being bipolar, depressed, anxious, insomniac, etc… Every year the list I get gets longer and my medications get higher in dose. Hey, by the way did I ever mention: I have a chronic problem of seeing dead children at night? You can ask my mother. For many reasons I don’t want to disclose we slept in the same bed till I was 18 and leaving for university. I’m totally not mentally fucked up.

And now I’m physically fucked up. I mean literally my body is trying to make me live a long painful life instead of just killing me. Arthritis, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Fibromyalgia and a shit ton of genes that mean I’ll probably one day have more when they decide to wake up and make me miserable. I mean not being able to walk stuck in bed with craploads of pain and an hyper bipolar mind is a beautiful thing to do to someone. Oh, and lets throw in brain fog to make them be insecure about the one thing they were good at: being smart.

I hate my life, so fucking much. I spend all my time trying to fake my way into happiness because hey eventually I’ll get there. I won’t be lonely. I won’t thing a dog is a solution to all my current problems and I won’t have to stop myself from getting low enough I wonder if it would be too messy to just simply walk in front of a car. Or worry about if I should burden my friends with these thoughts or continue to play I’m killing it game.

I mean…. how do you say to people you are hate your life and you never think that’s going to change. That you are passed fear and into acceptance that you will never be married or have children because you’ll never be able to have a one. How do you tell people that when the rage and mask finally fell the only thing left of you is endless tears and this broken shell.

I am so broken. So fucked up. I honestly don’t even know why I am still here. What is even the point of me?

Sometimes I think I’m a cliche, or just some bad joke.

I.L. Knight

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Boulevard Of Broken Dreams – Greenday

Semi – Productive When Sick :

Hi Hi Y’all…

*cough cough*

So, I am super sick today and have not left bed. BUT I tried to be productive about uploading to make up for things. Here is an update flood!

First, we have three new chapter of American Horror Story Fan Fiction!

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Second, we have an old long poem I forgot to add to the site!

The Pyre

Third, we have a chapter update for my Marvel House of M Reprise.

Marvel Chapter 4

Lastly, we have my first drafts of the first three chapters of my Originals Fan Fiction.

Chapters 1 2 3

That’s probably, most likely, maybe, going to be the most you get out of me this weekend.

*Cough Cough*

I.L. Knight

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Alone – Marshmello

Another E :

Hi Hi Y’all!

So, Part of me in the back of my head is being all like BOOO,YOU SUCK. YOU’RE BEHIND! YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER. WHY CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT! MY GOSH. HAVE YOU EVEN LOOKED IN THE MIRROR!

But… none of that matters today, because I’ve got multiple concept art sketches ( oops spoiler~) and…

HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST…MUHAMMAD…EVERYONE! THEY LOOK SO FUCKING FANTASTIC! CAN’T HELP BUT BALL MY EYES OUT AND GO FULL ON SNOT MODE!

NOT ONLY AM I FINALLY CONCURRING MY FEARS AND HAVE A BOOK OUT ANUARY 1 (which you can pre-order now on Amazon by the way~) BUUUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS STARTING TO BECOME PROFESSIONAL AND UNIQUELY MINE!

This website is a huge part of my life. It not only brought me back from the edge of some very dark places, but continues to help me have hope and joy for what I will do in the future.

Guys, I feel so happy. I  feel so genuinely fucking happy.

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.Shit.Cock.Mother Fucking. Aggggggh.

I am growing you guys….

I think I’m  becoming me.

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Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley

NANO WRIMO 2018 … HERE IT IS :

Hi Hi Y’all!

As I’ve told quite a few of you (if you follow my twitter) I am a part of this years NANO WRIMO 2018! However, I haven’t used an official account or anything…even really did the strict daily goals… because my health has dipped right before. NANO is a wonderful tool and course to strictly follow for writers, but health concerns do come first. Which is why I am doing an informal NANO for myself.

My project for this year is allowing myself to finish the publication process of my debut novella Chronicles: A Tale of Shadow and Light. The teaser will be released Next Wednesday for sure, so look forward to it! As for the novella itself, it is completely done! All it needs is one final look over, me to choose a book cover and it will be available on Amazon in the coming weeks.

If that is accomplished I have a second goal! I want to get the outline for the sequel done- Chronicles: Slaves of Desires and find time to work on the web novels you see on this site!

Web Novels

Outside of just the writings itself, I would like to remind y’all that an awesome writing discord is in the works. The link is below. Please, stop in and join!

https://discord.gg/Yudt66P

This week I will also be updating one chapter of Fan Fiction. It will either be new Marvel character or an update of a current series. Yay for comic books.

I want to thank y’all for taking the time to read this update, and if you have a moment you can go watch me on Sunday mornings stream Smite, or spare a dollar to help out at my Patreon!

Thanks for everything,

I.L. Knight

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Born Ready – Dove Cameron

Sunday Announcement :

Hi Hi Y’all !!!

I have a bunch of news for you! First off I have Fan Fiction Updates ~~~

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

The Originals

Next, I have to shout out my girl, Lisa Stapleton. She is going to be the go to blogger for NANO 2018!

https://lisastapletonauthor.wordpress.com/

I will also be doing NANO 2018 and have a discord with a few other writers. It will be as close 24-hrs as possible for all the writers out there so be sure to join at this link below:

htt[s://discord.gg/Yudt66P

As for my other work, all the fun original goodies I am happy to announce the tentative schedule. Next Wednesday I will be releasing a teaser for my debut novella The Chronicles: A Tale of Shadow & Light.

AND that’s not all. Before next Wednesday, for those who keep their eyes on the site, will be the first to see updates on one of my web novel series.

Don’t forget to check out my weekly Sunday, 11am est Smite stream for dropped hints about whats coming in the week! AND PLEASE…

Tenguufeather

If you have a moment or two take the chance to hop on over to my Patreon and help a girl out.

I.L. Knight

Thanks for everything my little lovelies,

I.L. Knight

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Like A Vampire – Catrien Maxwell

 

 

An Update :

I know it seems like I share a lot. I know I do. However, it’s naive to think a person shares everything. We always hold things back. We all have things so tightly locked to our idea of ourselves even we who make a living as one who shares does not part with it.

I guess I need to share a bit of my soul today. It’s about time to start doing that again…

Here goes:

This morning, I woke up delighted to remember that the first thing I had to do this morning was an AHS RP reply to my friend. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt so delighted. The problem is..everything lately has just felt like I am going through the steps I’m supposed to be taking and seeming happy when I’m not. I’m not sad… I think I am just back to being detached. It feels like I’m not a part of everything around me again. Even though I know that it looks like I am?

It’s like… It’s like the blossoming anxiety I push away everyday has secretly been crippling me even though for every reason in the world it shouldn’t be. I just can’t be happy. I’m just not able to be there.

I’m really thankful for my friends. The ones I RP with. The ones I chat online with and especially, the ones that carry a part of me with them in their daily lives.

Also, thanks for the random mystery of a CROW APPEARING IN THE MIST OF MY MIRROR (Seriously, check out my twitter. it is a spooky calling card)! I am taking the message, okay, life. I am going to be happy. I am going to succeed.

Just an incredibly emotional moment,

I.L. Knight

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AHS Playlist